Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
