I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
