Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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