Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
