: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
