Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
