conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize