Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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