He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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