this beer tastes like vomit already
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
