btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
