D3 body, D1 cock
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
this boner is exhausting
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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