Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
