I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
