dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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