Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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