So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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