no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
