I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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