like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize