Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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