did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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