bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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