id be glad to
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
