i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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