you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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