Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
