Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
