It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
