so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize