what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
