Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
