I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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