My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
there was a trapeze. enough said
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
