I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize