that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
