Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
