When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
