You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
