his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
