Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
