we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
