Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
