Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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