Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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