New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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