And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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