So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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