I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
