and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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