new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
