Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Actions speak louder than pants.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
