K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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