I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
