she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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