Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you made out with another girl for some wings
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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