VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Green mimosas i think yes
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
