so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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