Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
