i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize