i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
