i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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